Kickin' It Prufrock Style

2008-03-11T17:31:00.002-05:00

Ironically, I'm back at Kaldi's. :)

It's spring break, which is kind of weird when you're not a student. The students are gone but instead of just relaxing, I'm trying to catch up on everything I couldn't do during the semester. I'm working through a Berean class, doing some craft things, and catching up on phone calls. Just a lot different than the regular spring break routine of either working at Pablo's till I dropped or sleeping in till noon and hanging out all the time. :)

I'm going through the Synoptic Gospels Berean class, and it's crazy how things are lining up. The historic events they're explaining add so much to my understanding of what Jesus was teaching, and they make references to a lot of Old Testament events that I just read about (in the first five books.) I LOVE this: "The Greek word for meek describes a stallion that is submitted to the his rider." Totally changed the way I understood meekness; that it's more about submission to authority than gentleness. The book also said that the translation of a verse in Exodus should be that Moses was the meekest of all men on the planet, not the humblest. I've been chewing on that all day.

I started a schedule that helps you read the entire Bible in 90 days. I've done it for 22 days straight, which is actually a big deal for me. I've always struggled with reading the Bible consistently. My relationship with Jesus right now is difficult...instead of running, which is what I usually do at this point, I dug my heels in and am asking the Spirit for help to go forward. Instead of changing my actions, I'm asking Him to change my heart, and letting the actions follow. It's tough. Like any relationship I have days where things are so uncomfortable that I just don't want to spend time with God. But since I've been reading the Bible every day, and most days for an hour or more, I'm staying close with Jesus. After reading that much of the Word, it's seriously a lot easier to face what God is trying to teach me. My campus pastor from when I was in Ohio used to say that once you do something for 30 days straight, it becomes habit. So I'm also praying that this "habit" is really taking root in my spirit, and isn't just something that'll only last 90 days.

And...I just don't think I will ever like the book of Judges. I mean, I'm grateful for Gideon and Samson but the rest of that book is stinkin' creepy!

Live from Kaldi's!!

2008-02-16T13:11:00.002-06:00

Kaldi's is a coffee shop on Sam Houston Avenue. They offer "free" internet service as long as you spend $3 here. But, I get to update my blog, so I guess $3 and a mediocre cup of coffee is a small price to pay to keep you included in my life. :)

Yesterday I spent the day with Miss April Wikstrom, one of my small group girls. We went to a tea room (which was really cute, and had really good coffee, and man do they know how to make chicken tortilla soup down here!) and we went to this sweet dinner theater. Basically it looks like a regular movie theater, but then every other row is removed so that you can either sit at a table (in a rollie-chair!) or at a bartop. Then you can order dinner while you watch a movie. My brother first told me about one of those when he called me on my birthday, so I thought they were only in Alaska...but then I found out they're all over Texas. :)

I also learned this weekend that I have absolutely no idea how to drive in the city. The traffic was INSANE, especially with my country-bumpkin decision to leave Houston at 6pm. On a Friday night. Nooot the smartest move. :) I accidentally got in the "change only" lane when I was going through the toll booth (the first toll booth I've ever driven through), and freaked out because I only had a dollar bill...and so I just drove through. Well technically I threw fifty cents in the bucket, but that just doesn't cut it. So quite possibly there is a state-wide manhunt in Texas going on to track me down.

Small group tomorrow night is going to be sweeeeet! We're joining up with one of the other girl small groups to do Communion, and it'll be the first time we've all taken Communion together. Also one of my girls has decided to go on a missions trip this summer to Kazakhstan (I have no idea how to spell that, and I think spell check is also befuddled). I'll be going to Bangladesh at the end of May, so we're muddling through the support raising process together. :) They actually go panhandling down here...I guess it's less dangerous down south. :)

And in other random news, my driver's license expired on my birthday. That means I have to get that and my tags renewed...which means...by the end of the week Gracie will have Texas plates!! So weird...and kinda sad. Especially since I won't be down here forever. I guess it's not the end of the world. :)

Alrighty...I miss you guys. I'll try to have something more exciting next week. :)

Hello again!

2008-02-12T10:36:00.000-06:00

Hey, I know it's been forever...but I'm back in Texas. :) It's weird because even though I have less intern classes this semester, I feel twice as busy as fall semester. There are mission trips to plan and leadership classes to help out with and girls to hang out with. It's a pleasant but exhausting kind of busy. :)

I met Jesus in a new way last week. Do you ever learn something about Jesus and think, "How did I ever think I knew Him before this?" Britt Arthur is learning something along the same lines (what an awesome awesome battle buddy I have in her), and she said, "It's like you can finally take deep breaths and just enjoy your walk with Jesus." Nothing in my life got easier, per se. I'm still stinkin' selfish, there are some of my girls that I feel completely at a loss with, I make wrong decisions. But all of a sudden I have this weird peace and comfort...like, maybe if I never become perfect and I don't get everything right, Jesus will still come back for His children. Maybe, Jesus can still use me to do ministry even when I'm dealing with the after-effects of moral failure.

I can't fix myself!! There is no list of "don't do's" or "do's" that I could follow and then all of a sudden become righteous and holy. I can't copy the holiest person I know to attain righteousness. There's no heart change in that. So...I'm just walking with Jesus. Honestly. Without hiding things. And I'm comparing myself with Him, and listening to Him. And I'm learning that anything I come up with or try to do on my own is just filthy rags next to Him and His glory and His righteousness. But I think that maybe that's grace. That sanctification is a process and while He's changing my heart, I am not going to do everything right. But I really am trying to please Him.

With me it's always been about looking good. And it just isn't anymore. Learning to be real in front of Jesus, and in front of people I respect and look up to, and in front of people that look up to me, it's not easy. That's mostly why I'm staying in Huntsville to do a second year of internship. There is so much more to learn and process; I'm just not done here yet. And I'm okay with that, I'm okay with not being the best or blowing everybody away down here with my awesome intern skills. I'm okay that I'm not going on staff anywhere next year and I'm not pioneering yet.

Because I'm finally digging my roots in Jesus. I'm just learning to be me and let Jesus come through that. And that is a freedom I have not ever ever known before.

Blog from the Buckeye State

2007-12-20T10:34:00.000-06:00

So I'm back in Ohio...and it's as weird as people said it would be. :) I forgot how cool my family is, how solid and loving and crazy they are. Steven comes on home on Saturday, and then the reunion will be complete. :) Yesterday my mom and I baked 12 dozen cookies, peanut butter fudge, and puppy chow while listening to Butch Walker. Today is Hank Day! Highlights will include MST3K: The Movie, Disney's Robin Hood, a taco ring, and I Am Legend. Tomorrow starts a week-long rush of family time and Christmas parties, so...yeah I'm excited. :)

Jesus has shown me different things while I've been home, I think a lot of those things He had started showing me in Huntsville, but I wasn't willing to listen. So with that said, here's some news:

I'm staying in Huntsville next year.

Holla. :)

Me and Jackie!!

My brother getting fancy with the camera. Look at the snooooow!

Awesome coffee date with Smo...and then Santa showed up! ps that's the sweatshirt my roomie bought me!!

2007-11-26T11:03:00.000-06:00

Really quick update, and then I'm off to study for a test on A/G History, Missions, and Governance...heck yeah. :)

The week before Thanksgiving was pretty slow, which was appreciated. :) Nate and I were the only ones in the office on Thursday so we broke out the Nintendo. We have a high score war going on in Tetris, and on Thanksgiving Nate and about five Koreans beat Mario 3. Yeeeeah!

My first time baptizing someone!! This was a sweet sweet night, especially for Rena, the girl I baptized. My girls took care of her; they bought her a bouquet of flowers, a journal, and made her a certificate (which they framed). Beautiful night, and 45 people got baptized! The small group leaders are the ones that get to baptize their small group members, which I thought was incredibly awesome.

All three groups together for a night! That happens about once a month, and it's incredible when it does.

Hee Young (my roommate) went back to Korea last Saturday, so the four of us went out to dinner, lookin' snazzy. :)

Dessert at Texas Roadhouse

Things are going really sweet, and it's hard to believe that I'll be back in Ohio two weeks from now. I'm excited to be home for a little while but it is definitely not easy to leave here, even knowing I'll be back in a couple weeks. Oh Huntsville...how did you steal my heart. :)

PS My small group is the best thing ever!! The girls are really starting to love each other, and two of them are signed up for the leadership training classes that start spring semester! This is Devorah, the married chick of my group. :)

My obsessions...

2007-11-06T22:05:00.000-06:00

I LOVE HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS!!! Shoot dang, I love this internship, I love the people that are stealing my heart away, I love what Jesus is doing here. Siiiiigh. :)

GOOD NEWS:
I get to preach Thursday night! In two weeks I also get to baptize the beautiful and amazing Rena Ortiz. My small group is still growing, and the girls are starting to hang out with each other when I'm not around. I looooove my roommates!

BAD NEWS:
I fell down some stairs and my foot's all swollen and bruised. But, I find the healing process really interesting and totally dig bruises, so this is not as bad as it sounds.

Here is a chronicling of one of the goings-on down here in Tejas:

Once upon a time, Odette (Mexican), Bat (American) and Jin Sun (Korean) decided to make some green tea cookies. The recipe was in Korean and Jin Sun was going to lead the process.

These girls were so excited to bake together, and rocked out some aprons!

Much to their dismay, something went awry. For reasons unknown (aka something to do with the flour) the cookies turned out totally bitter and tasted like nasty butt. Here, two of our heroines try to get rid of the taste by eating brownies.

The cookies eat the dust! Minutes later, even the trash can complained about the taste.

So, needless to say, the cookies didn't turn out so great. But the time spent baking them was a blast. Thank You Jesus for ISFM and new friendships!!

2007-11-03T16:16:00.001-05:00

*Warning* Please read this post backwards...I'm not sure what happened, but the explanation stuff is down at the bottom. :)

Making the food! This guy was fun to watch dancing. :)

The girls practicing their dance, I thought it was the best part of the night.

The planning committee! So beautiful. :)

My roommate Hee Young! She just presented her thesis and passed the board, so congrats to her. She's got brains AND beauty, obviously. :)

Jin Sun looked so awesome this night! And the other girl is April, a new girl in my small group. She's got a cool story for how she got hooked up with us. :)

While I'm doing this blog I'm listening to a podcast from Ravi Zacharias. I've completely conformed to the enviornment down here...and it feels great. ;)

The Chi Alpha at SHSU has a really sweet ISFM (international student friendship ministry) program. Every other Friday there's a different themed party for the international students. Some of the parties teach the international students about American culture, and others are themed around different cultures. My friend Lauren and I were in charge of last night's party, and we worked with a lot of Indian students to plan Indian Night. It was stinkin' awesome!! The students made tons of food, sang the Indian national anthem, put on a fashion show, performed a dance, and an Indian guy sang a song. We also played some games and at the end people just danced. One of the coolest nights we've had so far. :)

I heart Huntsville!!!!

Pictures!

2007-10-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

This is us after our last Bible Study Lab. For some reason we were all really wound up so there was mass amounts of giggling as we said good bye to Philippians. :) Left to right is Ryan, Faith (my roommate and boss!), Kevin, Kyle (our teacher, he did his internship in Washington), Ross, Mike, me, Nate, and Josh.

Relatively normal picture :)

STEVEN SENT ME FLOWERS!! They're still on my desk making it beautiful. :)

And finally, a picture of Faith! Now you've seen all my roomies. :) Faith has been a lifesaver down here; I could write a book on what she's done for me.

I also had pictures of potato soup that I made, but I didn't want all of you to think I just eat down here. :) The soup kicked butt though, if you're wondering.

AND...in news that I hope you'll find as exciting as I do...one of my small group girls just invited the rest of my small group to her house to watch a movie. AAAAAAH!!! This is huge to me because the girls are becoming friends, and that is an answered prayer. So thank you to everyone who has been praying for my small group!!

2007-10-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

"The church is called out of the world and sent back into the world. God's pilgrim people need only two things: support for the road and a destination at the end of it. There is no fixed home, we are permanently underway to the ends of the earth and the ends of time."

"You do not fail; you are learning. You will always be learning. Do not give up."

I could probably use this whole post just to quote John Koeshell, or quotes that he quoted. Mr. Koeshell is a missionary from just about every country you can think of, and he spent a week here in Huntsville last week.

It disrupted my thought patterns. :) God hasn't specifically spoken what I'm doing next year. For the first time in about five years, I don't know what's coming up. And, as my roomies can tell you, it's been driving me crazy. After the three hours we interns got with John, my eyes were just opened to the possibilities of next year.

My friend Mike (a fellow intern who looks like my brother...weird!) said few people are really called to anywhere specific...you just see a need, and you do what you can to meet that need. That's love, and that's missions. John opened my eyes to the insane need all around the world. You can go anywhere and offer to teach English as a native speaker, and they need trained missionaries. So with no specific calling...and an overwhelming need...how in the world do you decide where to go?

After talking to Faith and my mom, I discovered the answer is this: serve and wait. So I'm here in Huntsville till June, and I just listen. And I take care of my girls. And I do a buttload of reading. And somewhere in the midst of all of that, God will point to just one door.

The internship...I had no idea it would be like this. But I wouldn't change anything about it. :)

ps I tried to upload pictures but the site's not working. Maybe tomorrow during office hours. :)
pps MY SMALL GROUP IS THE BEST THING SINCE THE POP TABS. A new girl just started coming last week...man they are all so stinkin' precious!

My Life...the food edition :)

2007-10-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

SO! October has been an interesting month. We've added three new classes to our schedule: missions, cultural relevance, and preaching. This makes for an even busier week, but sometimes I barely notice since the classes are so awesome. The preaching class is probably my favorite so far.

When I first started to feel that I was going to do full-time Chi Alpha, I knew that would require at least some preaching...and I remember being freaked out because I didn't want to grow up and look like Joyce Meyer (sorry if that offends anybody!). Eli took me aside after our first class to let me know that we were going to be talking about gender roles in preaching. He said, "If you get anything, get this. You are a woman. So when you preach, be a woman. Get up there and say it like a prophet; you have authority. But don't harden yourself and try to act like a man." Holy cow, I cannot tell you how much better that made me feel. I hope that doesn't make him sound harsh...I guess you might have to know Eli to know how he'd say all that. Anyway, I thought it was nice that we're going to talk about that stuff even though I'm the only girl. :)

Ladies and gentlemen, these are the infamous deep fried oreos! I ate all those and was sick as a dog that night, Hee Young had to make me tea and unblock my chi. ;)

This weekend I went home with Shaenelle (one of my small group girls) and spent a couple days with her family. They totally took care of me...took me to a high school football game (2 4 6 8 eat em uuuup snakes!), let me drive their 2008 Prias, cooked fried gar (that they caught and prepared themselves), and took me to a restaurant called Moo Moo. This is a very flattering picture of me eating gizzards, which I looove!

The inside of the magnificent deep friend oreo...

Jin Sun told me that one difference between Americans and Koreans is that Koreans try to be cute and sexy in pictures, while Americans are goofy. Here she's trying to teach me to not be goofy...I don't think it worked. It's the dimples!!

Sarah is one of my roommates, and seriously one of my favorite people that I've met here. She makes fun of the packages that my parents send because they always have squeeze cheese in them. ;)

Things are still good here. I'm learning complicated things about myself that I'd love to run away from, and so the days aren't always sunny here. But man I wouldn't trade it for anything. :)

Also, it still isn't getting any cooler than 85 degrees here...so much for fall!

That's all I got I think...I love you all very very very much. :)

Oh ps, I got to have lunch with the Jobes from Grace Crossing last week! I cried as soon as I saw them; man it felt so good to see people from Ohio. Thank You Jesus. :)

No new pictures...

2007-10-04T23:12:00.000-05:00

I just witnessed a very beautiful thing tonight.

As of last week, our Thursday night meeting (led by Eli Gautreaux) had lost about 100 people since our first week. The room felt so empty, and everyone just went through the motions of what they do every Thursday. It was exactly the opposite of what the leadership had hoped to accomplish through splitting their group of 550 students into three different weekly meetings. The small group leaders were discouraged and apathetic...and grumbly.

Last night we met with all of our small group leaders from Thursday night; I wish I could explain what happened. We broke into three different groups, and I sat there at a table with 15 college students, and listened to them work out in their heads what they were feeling...what they didn't like about the meetings...and how they were going to change it. When the group came back together, Eli rallied them. These college students, who are exhausted from hanging out with their small group members and studying and working and discipling, made a committment to change how our meeting looks.

And they did. Tonight was beautiful. Worship was intense and genuine, students mingled and greeted and loved on each other, and Eli spoke a powerful message on the Cross, out of Jonah. I cried most of the meeting. Jesus is alive, and He.digs.college students. There's no one else like them, who will give so much of their time to their friends who hate religion, who will hang out with pot heads, who will call and call and chase after freshmen that are running towards destruction. And they don't get paid, and they don't get bragging rights...they are just seeking Jesus.

I am so grateful to be here at Sam Houston. I think the love here is so strong because the truth of the depravity of man is so well understood. We're all broken...we all screw up...and they love each other through that. Tonight so many students came up for prayer, after a message that basically said: You've sinned against the Lord. That's because you have a wicked heart, like we all do. So get your eyes on the Cross and WORSHIP the LORD.

I've never seen a crowd of people so humbled. I looked down the aisle and all my small group girls were crying with me. They worshiped their hearts out at the end of the meeting.

And they're college students...praise You Jesus.

Six Inches!

2007-09-29T16:18:00.000-05:00

On second thought, my mom might fly down here herself if I don't put pictures of the hair cut up...

This will drastically cut down on my grandma's shampoo costs. ;)

2007-09-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

So for anyone who's stopping by to see haircut pictures...i don't have them yet. Sorry! But I'll try to take some tomorrow and put them up this week. I think the official count was a total of 6 inches taken off...man I missed having short hair. :)

The past two weeks have been pretty intense (hence the circles under my eyes, haha) and October will be even busier. In addition to our discussion class, A/G history class and Bible study class (where we exegete the book of Philippians), we're adding a preaching lab, an apologetics class, and a class on missions. I guess it slows way down towards the end of November, and I'll be home for a lot of December, so for now I'm just doing the best I can. :)

My small group is still doing awesome! Last week was Heather's birthday, and Shaenelle decided we needed to celebrate.

I get to meet with all of them throughout the week, including two other girls who have just started coming. They're the highlight of my week pretty much every week and are more than I deserve.

We are officially done with contact table!!

It's done a lot differently here. Each week it was just us interns, and we just hung out at the table in front of their huge Chi Alpha sign. I actually met two of my small group girls there, and Faith said that's unusual. It was stinkin' hot every week, but as they only have contact table the first six weeks of the semester, we're moving on to an apologetics class.

Last week's international ministry event was a carnival! It was really really sweet, and I got to run the balloon shaving race.

The hilarious part was that if even when they tried stabbing the balloons they didn't pop...but people had fun anyway. :) After the games they had an auction with the tickets they won from the games and it was just a blast. My roomie won some socks...

I also ate at Whattaburger for the first time ever...

Yes ladies and gentlemen, my chicken strips meal came with gravy and texas toast...absolutely beautiful. :)

And on the homefront...CONGRATULATIONS to Eric Matthew on his new career!! He can now meet all your hydraulic needs. :)

Love you all, and can't wait til December.

2007-09-16T15:30:00.000-05:00

So this weekend was Fall Breakaway! Personally I think they should have to change the name, because it is totally not fall here...today the high is 95 degrees...again. :) Nevertheless, it was a sweet sweet retreat. The evening session started at 8pm Friday night, with worship and then preaching from a guy named Salim. He talked at RUI too, and I was way excited to hear him talk again.

All three of my small group girls came! That was totally an answered prayer.

There are two campuses that come to breakaway, and about 400 people. So the purpose is more to solidify and build community in your small group...hence a ton of goofy pictures. :)

Salim told his testimony and shared an illustration of the Gospel that has more clarity than any I've ever seen. Ask me about it when I get home. :) I think more than 10 people got saved! After the talk my girls and I went back to our room and talked about life and giggled for hours. Man they are stinkin' awesome. The next morning Salim preached on the importance of forgiving others AND, one of my favorite topics, GETTING BACK UP after a fall. And another fall. And another fall. :) Then we had lunch and that was the end of breakaway. Different, huh? I was so proud of my girls, they all got something different from the retreat and are growing like weeds. :)

Here's a picture of me and my roommate Sara. Sara is the best friend I've made down here. She makes me feel at home. :)

And just to make this post completely random, here's a list of books I've read since August:

Little Women

To Kill a Mockingbird

How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

The Hobbit

Currently Reading:

The Celebration of Discipline

The Power of Prayer (a collection of essays)

Selections from The Character of God by AW Tozer

I do not love the weather here, but I totally love the workout my mind is getting. :) I also borrowed a bunch of Christian History magazines from Mary Gautreaux and am soaking those up.

I've also started working out and watching fashion shows and the food network. Isn't that nuts?! I tried to fight it at first, but femininity is so strongly defined down here that I just gave in. :) AND IT FEELS GREAT! Well most of the time...right now my abs are killing me. :)

Okay back to work. Love and miss you guys!!

I dig this camera...

2007-09-06T13:11:00.000-05:00

So I'm trying to figure out this text/picture format...I don't know if it's working out...but I'll keep trying if you'll keep reading! :)

One sweet new thing Jesus is doing in my heart down here is growing my heart for international students. Right now I'm most active in the international ministry, and I am stinking loving it. It just kinda happened out of the blue. Here are some of my new friends!

This is Lav...I met her the day she came to the states. I had only been here a week, we were both homesick like crazy, and it was a quick bond. :) We sit on the floor in her apartment and watch movies in Telegu; she translates for me. And makes me chai and Indian coffee!

Dude, she made me Indian food...

which I had to eat with my hands of course...

AND IT BURNT MY MOUTH OFF!!

Jin Sun! She's from Korea and we clicked right away too. She said I make her so happy that she has to dance. :) We've got a baking date where we're exchanging recipes.

Rena...love at first sight...she reminds me of Amy Callahan! She's growing like a weed even in the short time that I've known her.

Sweet huh? I also have a budding romance going on with the Old Testament, but we'll see how that goes. I gotta figure out how to study it in-depth! And thankfully, I am exactly in the right place for that. :)

Deuces, y'all...that's Huntsvegas for, good bye!

I can start trends AND follow them!

2007-09-04T23:16:00.000-05:00

So, I heart the Brannans...and so they don't think I've fallen off the face of the planet, I've created this blog. Hello, Brannans! And hello to anyone who might find their way here. :)

Here's the deal: I moved to Texas. I've been here for a month. I have 11 more to go!

My internship is sweeter, harder, and more intense than anything I could have imagined. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to be sure I'm actually here, learning what I'm learning and meeting who I'm meeting. And sometimes I'm crying so hard that it's hard to forget. :)

BUT! I get to be the lone female in an intern class of 7, and while it was very intimidating at first, I've found they are awesome, Jesus-loving guys. Even when they stink up the office. We got to bond by visiting the Sam Houston statue (the largest statue of an American hero!) and the Huntsville Prison Museum. Fact: there are 7 prisons in Huntsville, and all prisoners sentenced to death row are residing (and executed) in this lovely town.

I get to be part of a resource group (which is like a d-group for d-group leaders, saweet!) and I'm building my own small group...whom I'm already in love with.

There's a lot more...but it's after midnight here and I'm out of graham crackers.

Love you and miss you. :)